Sometimes God speaks quietly. And sometimes he uses a bullhorn. This was the first line of my devotional today:
“Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands.”–Sarah Young, Jesus Calling
Ironically, I mixed up my dates and read the wrong entry for today. But it was the one I needed. Today was the day I knew was coming when I edited “homeschool mom” out of my bio a few weeks ago. I dropped my oldest two kiddos off at school today.
I know that for lots of moms the first day of school is a great big party. And I get it–really. Going to the grocery store by yourself? Priceless. But even when you know a decision is right, there’s often a sense of loss when a door closes behind you. And today, yeah–it’s been all the feelings.
What if I didn’t teach them something? What if I’ve completely screwed them up forever and now they’re in school and everyone’s going to find out?!!!!
Ooohh. The house is quiet. Except for the jabbering four year old, but relatively quiet. This is nice.
I miss my babies! Is it 3:30 yet?
So munchkin is back in Mothers’ Day Out next week, and I could actually go the mall by myself. Maybe I should get a massage. Or a manicure. Or just book a whole week at the spa . . .
Pray for my husband, y’all.
Incidentally, these were the kids’ reviews:
“I made two new friends!”
“I loved it!”
“I got to sit next to my BFF!”
“I have a fun teacher, Mom.”
“We went to the library!”
“We went to P.E.!”
“We ate pizza!”
So yeah. They’re good. I know there’s going to be good days and bad days and just slog-through-it-because-you-have-to days, but they had a good first day. That’s what I’d prayed for. And the kid that I’d prayed would make one friend today made two. Our God who does abundantly beyond more than we could ask or think–that’s just kind of what he does.
The last few weeks as we’ve been gathering supplies and making plans, God’s been keeping up a quiet whisper in my ear. What was your word for the year again? Trust. Did you mean it?
And yeah–yeah, I did. But we all know trusting God with other people is a lot harder than trusting him with ourselves. Trusting that yes, he’ll speak to them and they’ll hear. Trusting that on the beat-up, broken-hearted days he’ll bind up their souls as he’s bound up yours. Trusting that when he promised his presence would go with you, he also meant it for them. Trusting that you’re not raising them to be safe; you’re raising them to be strong. And knowing that his strength is enough for both the gathering in and the letting go.
Today has felt like one of those youth group trust exercises. The kind where you lean back and fall, knowing in your head they’re going to catch you but still the tiniest bit afraid that you’re going to be the one that goes splat. But God’s mercies are new ever morning, and his faithfulness never fails. He’s got me. He’s got them. And he’s not going to let us down.
#Trust.
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12 comments
Touching post. When I get anxious, I visually (in my head) place the other person in the arms of Jesus and walk away. It truly helps. God is so good.
I like that, Cherrilynn!
Beautiful quote from your devotional! I actually needed that today!
“Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.””
Exodus 33:18
I thought of this while reading this entry.
I admire you, momma! I especially relate to “raising them to be strong…not safe”. love you, sister. ❤️
we all pray for stuff – now we all gotta learn how to trust Him for the answer 😀
I really love your post, what I especially love about it is your candidness (is that a word?) Anyway, I love the fact that you say we all know how difficult it is to trust God with others in comparison to yourself, and I think never a truer word was spoken. But on the plus side, you did really well chica and God will keep giving you the Grace to continue to do reall well until you can do so much better.
Blessings x
Thanks Florence! I’m thankful that God’s mercies are new every morning. He never runs out of grace.
“We raise them to be strong.” I liked that line, too. I’m not a mom yet, but I wonder about the same things. Sending my kids off to school and wondering if they’ll be ok (way down the road when I get married and have kids). Thanks for your post. This works for friends, too. Trusting God to take care of them. He loves them even more than we do.
Great post! I’m always curious as to what prompts homeschooling moms to send their kids to….out of home school – care to share? Glad you found some peace through this. Sounds like your kiddos had a blast and will be ok – Good job, mama!!!
It’s always been a year by year decision, and it just came down to we felt it was the right thing for our family at this time. Partly we felt that we were going to need to do it eventually and thought it would be better to transition now rather than wait till our oldest is in junior high.
This is a great post.
Thanks!
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